#365 Love is not about being single, it is about being social

Marc and Angel, two passionate writers, life-hackers and “admirers of the human spirit,” have come up with an amazing list of 30 things to stop doing to yourself. If you like their list, make sure you check out their site and sign up to their amazing newsletter.

 #1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

#2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

#3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.

#4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

#5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

#6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

#7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

#8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

#9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

#10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

As we all know, part of being single is having to field the constant inquires from parents, relatives, friends and sometimes even complete strangers as to why we are still single.  Here is one of the most amusing insights I have read from a fellow solo and #365Love Get Connected member Glenn Millar.

Thanks for the chuckle! 

XO Cheryl

No matter what your religion or ethnicity, it seems critically important to Mothers that you marry within your ethnic background.  If you are Asian, your Mother wants you to date other Asians.  If you are Catholic, you must marry another Catholic.  And, if you are Jewish then you should find a nice Jewish boy or girl.  

I can’t speak for other cultures, but in the case of Judaism there is a critical reason for marrying within the religion.  In this way, we ensure that the guilt chain is carried down from generation to generation.

Parents seem to get angry when you date outside of your ethnic background.  For instance, if you are Jewish, you can actually give your Mother a heart attack by dating a Catholic.  Frankly, I am not completely sure why this is, when Catholics and Jews have so much in common.

They both come with Mothers who are over-protective, but are really good cooks.  They both come with Mother’s who want lots of grandchildren and want them now.  And of course they both come with truckloads of guilt.  I suppose the difference is that in Catholicism the guilt comes from the entire religion whereas in Judaism, the guilt dispensary is handled exclusively by your Mother.

But both religions come with a Mother who considers it a personal affront, if not a mortal sin, that you are over 30, single and aren’t going to have children in the next 6 months.

Like all good Jewish Mothers, my Mother is always bugging me about getting married.  “Have you met any nice Jewish girls?” she will always ask me.  If I answer, “no”, she will invariably try and fix me up.  She thinks she is Yenta the Matchmaker.

She’ll say to me. “I have just the girl for you.” 

“Really Mom?  Who is she?”

“A woman in my bridge club.  Her Niece’s friend.  A nice girl,” she replies. 

“So you’ve never actually met her?” I ask.

“No, but she’d be perfect for you” 

"Thanks, Mom.  But, I don’t think so.”

“See if I care.  I should go to my grave with no grandchildren.” 

One time my Mother called me, once again, trying to fix me up.

“Glenn, you remember my friend, Doris Kilinivich?” 

“Yes, Mom.  But I didn’t know she had a daughter.”

“She doesn’t,” says my Mother.  “But her husband Morty’s been dead two years now.  Maybe you could ask her out.”

I’m always trying to get my Mother off my back about me still being single.  I had tried everything, but nothing worked.  When I moved to San Francisco I thought I had found a solution. You see, my Mother is extremely conservative.  So one time when she called and as usual asked, “Have you met any nice Jewish girls?” I decided to play on her worst fears. 

“Mom, you are not going to believe this.  I met the perfect person.  We are deeply and madly in love.  We have so much in common.  We do everything together.  Even the sex is incredible.  Mom, he is the nicest man you would ever want to meet.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone.  “I have her,”  I thought.  “I have finally shut her up.”

Then, finally, the sound of my Mother’s voice.  “So, is he Jewish?”


Glenn "Croc" Millar 

I know I will meet someone special who will embrace my entire being . To enjoy and appreciate the good qualities of our partners, comes the need for acceptance of each others flaws.
Are any of us perfect ?
It's hard to love someone else- if you don't know who you are and love and value yourself first. 


I will choose my love and love my choice!
Until Mr. Right finds me- I will keep to my path, spreading my wings, enjoying the view.

It's a great life!
“It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him. … I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman, I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice.” 
- Coco Chanel 
I am wondering how many women out there can identify with some or all of what Coco Chanel believed to be true.
I know that it will take a man of strong character and confidence to share my life with me, but I believe he is out there and he will find me.
I take each day with a grain of salt and a heaping cup of sugar.
I like it sweet and with no artificial substitutes!

Meet the future bakers of Billy Bob's Pop Up Bakery!

There are times in life, even though we are enjoying the wind blowing through our hair and the sun shining down on our faces, we have to veer off course. 
Unexpected winds force us to change our navigational course. 
It's not a matter of dropping anchor, it's simply docking in port long enough to refuel and set a new sailing chart. 
For the love of family and community, #365love will be returning to the pier for a little while...
My search for love will have to be temporarily moored.
See tomorrow's blog to find out who and what has caused me to change the rigging of my sails!
To reach a port we must sail- sometimes with the wind, sometimes against it.
But we must not drift or lie at anchor.