#365 Love is not about being single, it is about being social
I really do appreciate the good intention of people, inquiring what type of man I am hoping to meet. Their only desire is for me to be happy and see if they know someone they would want to introduce me to.
The most recent inquiry "what type of guy will fit your bill?"
Funny thing is- I am never able to describe who he is or what he looks like.
Looking back on the men that I have dated, I have come to realize two things- I don't have a specific TYPE and being a single woman, I strongly dislike BILLS!
What I am sure of- I know exactly who Cheryl is and how I like to live my life. The man that will eventually win my heart, will appreciate who I am and put up with and even embrace the characteristics that drive him crazy and I will do the same in return.
He wont fit a BILL.
He will just fit with life.
We will just FIT!
Have you ever wondered why after what you considered to be a successful first date, the lady did not agree to go out with you again?
Other than the obvious lack of chemistry, which is the usual first assumption, could there be another reason? I believe most people are looking for a deeper connection and don't dismiss people just because there is no initial fire.
What was the reason then? What do women want and did you bring it to the "table"? Literally!
As a woman, who has had to find NICE ways to say no to a second date, I thought I would share with you some of my NO GO dating pet peeves.
Thanks for the cocktail, but I have to leave now.
Let's examine the situation honestly in this little Q and A:
Did you communicate well leading up to date?
Little notes or a call, saying you were looking forward to your time together.
Were you late for the date?
Being on time is important as it conveys priority and intent. Respect- If late, please call and not at the last minute.
What was your appearance?
Showing up disheveled sends bad message. Dressed to impress means "I cared about meeting you and take pride in myself".
Manners say a lot about a person!
Did you eat like a gentleman or talk with your mouth full?
Where was your confidence level registering on the Richter scale?  
Did you fidget and show a multitude insecurities?
Eye contact is huge!
Shows trust and honesty.
Also searching the room and ogling other women is a big no no.
Where you interested in your date or totally self-absorbed in conversation? Lets talk all about me.
Always best to keep sexual banter to a minimum.
Could you have been too playful?
Compliments go a long wa,but please make it sincere if you are thinking of a second night!
The biggest no no of all- Remember your date’s name!
I was out once where the gentleman called me by the name of the woman he was out with the night before. At least he was honest- a serial dater but honest.
In any event- don't give up, Ms. Right for you is out there and just waiting to be swept up by your charm.
Don't we all have to be more aware of what we are putting out there for all to see?
How did your last date go?
Tell me about it in love stories.
I know I will meet someone special who will embrace my entire being . To enjoy and appreciate the good qualities of our partners, comes the need for acceptance of each others flaws.
Are any of us perfect ?
Do you remember the TV show created in 1965 by Chuck Barris
Well I do- and the best way to describe the show is to think of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette meets The Voice. (N.B. for you gambling jocks -there is a bit of fantasy football influence as well!)
Now enter the cyber world of 2013, where we can create our own reality game show.
Wondering how?
Check out this new website and have some fun with friends.
I am planning a party to launch my team. Anyone want to join?
Have you ever gone out for dinner with someone and worried about what you have in common to talk about?
Well, there is a new place in town that appeals to our human instincts and taste buds- Atame is serving up everything aphrodisiac.
Atame, literally translated means "tie me up", is a new concept restaurant in Montreal appealing to all our senses. The subject matter may not be what you would normally put out into the universe on first date, but my dinner companion and I had some "stimulating conversation", from the moment we started perusing the menu together.
How could you not be tempted and your senses aroused with a menu that reads like a Kama sutra guidebook.
Amuse bouche are referred to as nibbles, foreplay instead of appetizers, shared passions was our main course and climax for dessert- everything hints at having fun and feeling flirty. The only topic missing on the menu was pillow talk, which is not really an omission, as the banter naturally went there anyway.
The live music added a sexy, sultry, feel to the intimate seating space, as our table was divided from the other dinners by billowy white curtains. The atmosphere just oozed with a romantic sensuality, that makes you forget you are there too eat.
So, if anyone wants a sure fire way to seduce your lover, or potential lover over dinner, Atame is the place to go- but keep the handcuffs at home. It is a public place after all! Lol
Simply described as "deliciously seductive"
Bon appetite!


It's hard to love someone else- if you don't know who you are and love and value yourself first. 


Dating is supposed to be fun, romantic and stimulating. The question is-how can I play safe? (No pun intended)
When we were young, our potential suitors picked us up at home and subsequently were put through the Spanish Inquisition by our parents. This was followed by a rough handshake, intended to intimidate the boy, while the mother ran off to the front door, taking down his license plate.
It's up to each of us to date smart.
It's as easy as ABC- and here is my personal checklist.
Be your own detective!
ASK questions: I start with finding out as much about the person as possible, by asking questions and the doing some research. Google is my new best friend.
BUDDY system: I always tell a trusted friend who I am going out with and where we are meeting.
CONDOMS: No explanation needed- no EXCEPTIONS EVER!
DRINKING: I keep it to a minimum and near me. Date rape drugs are not just used on our children (GFB).
EYES and ears open:  I stay alert and very in the moment. If the hair on the back of my neck goes up for any reason, I activate the buddy system and get an emergency call from "home" and head to the....
FRONT door!
GOOD instincts: I have them, as do you. We all need to listen to them.
HAPPY safe dating to us all!
Do you have any safety tips or stories you would like to share?
Write to me so we can all be on this journey together.
I don't know if you have certain things you look for in a man on a first date, but I know I do and they are as fundamental as ABC.
Appearance: I'm not talking physical characteristic per say, it's more about how they presented themselves. Did he take the time to choose appropriate attire, style his hair, brush his teeth and clean his nails? I know it sounds trite, but what it demonstrates is his level of interest in meeting and impressing me- but more importantly that he has pride in himself.
Behavior: Was he polite, respectful, and gallant- not only to me but to people around us? How someone orders their dinner can tell you a lot about their true personality.
Confidence: How did he carry himself and did he communicate his thoughts well, with assertiveness, character and knowledge?
Creativity: A big one for me! I am a visually stimulated person and think outside the box and somewhat artistic. I never get bored, as I am always creating something and I admire someone who can appreciate things in the same way and share in the process. It’s also my experience, when there are life issues creative people can usually find the answer to any challenge -we are open to possibilities.
Challenging: A person who makes me think makes me grow and will ultimately hold my interest long term.
Bonus point is the fourth C: Chemistry!
Throw that one in the mix and we are destined for a second date.
What attracts you on a first date?
Let me and other readers know by telling me your story. #365 love is all about sharing.
I will choose my love and love my choice!
Until Mr. Right finds me- I will keep to my path, spreading my wings, enjoying the view.

It's a great life!
Over lunch today, a future business associate asked me a question, "are you considered an expert in dating, even though you haven't found love yet?"
Not half hour later, another woman following my journey asked a similar question. In this case, it was more of a comparison of our dating habits and lifestyles, "if you can't meet someone, how is anyone else going to?"
Simple retort.
First, I do not consider myself an expert! I am more experienced compared to some singles, due to the "research and development department" I created for myself. To feel comfortable about my foray into singledom, I had to understand more about human nature and learn the finesse and etiquette of dating.
Second, I have met many men over the last 275 days and have socialized under a variety of different circumstance. Therefore, the opportunities for a relationship have been numerous.
I think it is important for people to understand that the reason I am still solo, is not because there are no good men out there to meet. That's a fallacy. There are as many fabulous gentlemen looking for a partner to share life with, as there are amazing women.
Waiting alone for Mr. Right to make his entrance
The issue is that I, like you, will not "settle". I do however, hope to "settle down" and will do so, when my Mr. Right enters my world. Notice I didn't say Mr. Perfect, as then I would be waiting forever!
So, if you've found yourself pondering "if Cheryl can't connect with someone after all that dating, how will I?" Remember this- I have met several Prince Charmings. They just were not mine! In some instances, I introduced them to friends or acquaintances, which were better suited for them and I adored playing Cupid.
I know the person I will share my future with is out there and I will continue to work and do the things I love and he will find me. I have no worries about that and neither should you!