My reason for starting 365 days to find love is to find love for myself. But what’s really pushing me forward is the thought that I didn't know where to begin to put it out in the universe. So many people want to meet someone yet they’re afraid to venture out of their comfort zone to do something about it.
I think that is that first step out of comfort is what we need to do to achieve anything we want in life.
My first step out was to embrace a new way of interaction and connection that did not exist when people of my generation were initially dating. Online dating sites.
For someone like myself that is computer challenged it is a daunting thought from the beginning. I can only imagine a person 15-20 years older than me who has never sat in front of a computer trying to contemplate the new methods of matchmaking. What ever happened to the neighborhood "Sadie" like in the movie Funny Girl? She knew every oldie and their business and you didn't have to go further than her kitchen table to meet the boy of your dreams.
Oy vey!
Think about all the misconceptions about online dating! I’ve thought and even heard "it's not for me" so many times. I was actually dared to go to an online site by a friend and even then I kept saying I was only on it to research my blog.
Truth be told, I know many couples who are together today because of online dating sites and they praise the day they registered.
The other fallacy is that these websites only exist for people that can't meet someone on their own. I am on match.com (link it!) and I think I’m a pretty good catch.
There ain't no losers here!!
Maybe the losers are the ones who judge the medium before they actually experience it. After all, I was a non-believer and now I’m one of the converted.
Cheryl
XO
Preparations for this website are going well. I have a check list of things I still have to do:
- Get in touch with women like me…check
- Get in touch with matchmakers ...check
- Sign on to online dating services... check
- Check out who might be a good match for me….. check???
On this particular online dating site - Step four on the "find your mate page" - is about describing your ideal date.
I get to fill out the form about what I like in a man.
Age: 50- 62
Physical description: I have no real preference but I do have a thing for… Hair ( yes please) and eyes (blue)
Common Interests : I put down I hope he likes art, dancing, cooking ,wine, travel, and various and sundry physical activities. wink wink! ( Here the winking is okay)
I filled in those basic questions and more, like salary and profession and proximity to where I live.
Fill out Profile of the perfect date for me... Check
It doesn't take long before the computer send me my match.
He's 38 year old motorcycle dude who loves rock and roll and has never been married…. Never.
I stare at the screen.
There he is, my supposed match ( computer places it at 97%)
He is smiling at the camera - he does have lovely smile - sitting on a plaid Lazyboy,
wearing his favourite hockey team's logo with matching baseball cap, one hand holding up a beer can in a toast, and holding his prized fishing rod in the other.
His profile went on to talk about a beautiful, calm life in the country and the lady he hopes to share his life with. He talks about his love for camping, canoe rides
- and fishing trips.
Picture that image, now think of me and who I am.
Could this be this a match made in heaven? I don't even see myself getting into the canoe to find out.
They say that opposites attract - but this is soooooo opposite.
What was the computer thinking? I wish this guy well, but he is NOT my date match…not even close.
Back to the drawing board.
Have you had any online matches or mis-matches? I'd love to hear about them!
Share your stories on this website. Click on the LOVE stories tab!
Cheryl
XO
Cook and Date takes the pressure out of meeting someone for the first time.
I love to cook and I want to meet new people. What better way to start my journey into the world of dating that with an activity that combines both!
How about Cook and Date?
That’s not a question; it's a matchmaking company that is the brainchild of one very creative businesswoman named Cristina Mucciardi. Cristina has concocted the perfect balance of ingredients for a successful date, or in this case dates.
Meeting a blind date in a restaurant can be intimidating. I tried it once and decided it was not my thing. I remember walking into the restaurant and feeling out of sorts as I scanned the room looking for a person that I had never seen.
Awkward moment!!!
I had no real idea what he looked like - all the men look the same in their suits when you’re nervous. There were a multitude of crazy questions racing around in my head. “Are all those eyes on me and do those patrons know I'm on a blind date? What should I say as we shake hands? How would we find something to talk about?
Not wanting to repeat that uncomfortable experience I went in search of an alternative.
The night I walked into the Viking Showroom on Devonshire in Montreal to attend a Cook and Date event, I was totally at ease.
Cristina was there to greet all the wannabe male and female chefs and make the introductions amusing. I had no expectations other than to have fun. The pressure on us all as a group was relieved because the activity itself of cooking our dinner provided a natural flow of conversation and a connection among all the dinner guests. The wine helped too.
On the menu was homemade pasta that took us forever to roll out, but worth all the effort and filet mignon steak with a roasted vegetable tower as a main course.
Cook and Date’s owner Cristina has created the perfect recipe to a delicious evening of meeting and conversing with great new people, with none of the pressure of a blind date.
Recipe:
- 1 woman with years of experience hosting dinner parties for singles
- 1 great chef (and a half)
- 5 women
- 5 men
- 4 - 5 bottles of wine
- 3-course meal
- 2 hours cooking together
- 2 hour of wining and dining
- Heaping helpings of laughter
- 2 Latin dancers in the group added the spice
Cristina knew just how to stir the pot and she kept the night at the perfect simmer and added a touch of sizzle when needed.
The objective is to have all the ingredients marinade well together and bring to a boil.
The Icing: 10 people danced until 1:30am
The Cherry on the cake goes to you, Cristina and company!
Cheers
Cheryl
XO
Coming up this week: get a glimpse into our night - check out the "Cook and Date" video segment on Visions of love
Now that I'm on Match.com I've had 500 hits of interest this weekend - Lots of people must be looking for LOVE!
This is only my first weekend on line and I'm already overwhelmed… how do we who are looking for love online go through this much traffic - and it's just on one site.
Many people i know have advised me to be one more than one site at a time - for the variety - but I can't imagine how they can find the time to sift through it all.
One thing's for sure…navigating this dating site has become kind of addictive - and I find myself sitting in front of my screen into all hours of the night - and I know I'm not alone, because I'm getting winked at while I'm here.
You may not know what an online winker is…
It's one of the methods of initial contact on this site, Match.com.
My grandmother always told me never trust people who wink. She felt it was disrespectful and the sign of a insincere person. She did'nt like winkers, I don't like winkers - So why in the world would I ever respond to that as a compliment or a first approach online….. Winker - you're voted off my island.
Hard to believe I'm on a site that encourages winking, yet here I am.
I think I will write to the company to suggest another means of initiating contact. The control freak brand marketed in me wants to change the world! To me, anything would be better than winking! An image of a handshake - or a animated wave or hello graphics or heck, even a hallmark designed heart - would be an improvement.
I should file a "CLASSY" action suit for all the wannabe lovers who like me, don't want to be winked at! Do any of you hopeful romantics out there, have a suggestion to submit?
Cheryl
XO
I invite all of you to join me in sharing our stories with each other. Please fill out this survey and maybe you will be next week’s featured love story! Share your thoughts here: Love Quest Survey.
Dale is from Montreal, age 50 to 59:
Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?
A: YES
Q: Would you/have you ever used an online dating site?
A: YES
Q: Would you/have you ever used a matchmaking service?
A: YES If it was priced reasonably
Q: Do you kiss and tell?
A: YES/NO only if he is a jerk.....!!!
Q: Do you believe in soulmates, i.e. that there is only one person out there for you?
A: YES but not just one we have many for different reasons...
Q: What’s the worst opening line that’s ever been thrown your way?
A: I just love black women....
Q: If you had to plan your perfect date, what would you do?
A: Make him...surprise....me....that’s my plan...!
Q: What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
A: I went to get a wax on my upper lip ...only to have a reaction to it...not so cute...but he did mention it.
Q: Under what circumstances would you say it is permissible to date a friend’s ex-spouse (if any)?
A: When the other person is dead...or has Alzheimer’s
Q: What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else?
A: When I was married I gave my husband a scavenger hunt that ended with meeting me at a very nice restaurant.
online
Turn the computer on….Check!
Sign in to Match.com.
Now, here goes… why are my fingers still frozen on the keyboard, and my eyes staring blankly at the site's blue and white home page???
Break down that Brand name and it depicts where my life is at this moment… My quest to find a person that would be a good match for me, using the .com world to expand beyond my the community that I know.
Step one on the Match.com site: create your tag name. I'm already stumped. I have the time to try and be witty, but I'm already breaking into a sweat. Breathe, move on and save for later.
Step two: upload a picture. Complete panic! How the heck do I do that and from what file? Documents, desktop other? … I'm already completely lost. Call a friend? Can't, its 2am. But isn't this what every single fundamentally female does in the middle of the night?
Step three: Fill in my height, eye colour... finally getting the hang of it.
They want my political views. Really? Isn't that considered bad dinner conversation on a first date?
My horoscope sign, I don't really care, but sure, why not.
Proximity to where you live... I prefer out of town - love dating under a microscope... NOT!
Now they want my profile... describe yourself in 100 words or less... time for a drink! This brings me back to the beginning!
Step one: tag name - Vodkacoctail
I couldn't refresh the incorrect spelling of my application - so instead of having the correct spelling, my sign-in is vodkacoctail... Chalk up that lost K to my lack of Komputer savvy!
Note to self… I'm embarking in a whole new cyber dating universe - I've got to get back to the Apple store tomorrow for a skills re-tweak ….and call Tony Mancuso for lessons.
Have you started your search for love online? What are you waiting for?
Share your stories on this website. Click on the LOVE stories tab!
Cheryl
XO
Montreal has many matchmaking services but there is only one Susan. This savvy businesswoman is hip, smart and connected. I know many people who have met their “match” due to Susan’s connection. Who will be next? Stand in line… I’m up next!
Here are the answers to some of the questions I recently asked Susan Alper:
GUIDE TO DATING IN MONTREAL
Most romantic date spot: Anyplace is romantic when there is a spark and chemistry.
Worst date spot: First date, movie theater.
Best lunch spot for a date: I don’t recommend lunch dates… People are usually too stressed out and it turns out to be a speed dating scene… Not too much fun!
Best dinner spot for a date: It depends on the couples preference… my suggestion is always somewhere that you can hear each other talk and not have to yell… Don’t want the couple to lose their voices on the first date!
Best cocktails spot for a date: Don’t drink more than two please… It gets ugly when people start to slur their words on a first date.
Best public area (museum, park, etc) to scout for eligible singles: Dog Runs… Everyone is there looking for unconditional love…
Top club/bar that caters to mature clientele: There is something in the works coming soon for mature people…
DATING PHILOSOPHIES
- In your opinion, what’s the best scenario for a first date (time/place/activity)?
I suggest evenings when people can unwind and be less stressed out… suggest something that both people feel comfortable doing… it’s important to feel safe.
- What are the telltale signs that somebody is not for you?
You want to run like Forest Gump!
- Who calls who? What is the etiquette following a first date?
I think men should call. No texting please… you can text after the date to let the other know you are interested in seeing him or her again.
- What do you most recommend a person wears on a first date?
Something clean, simple, no running shoes… and make sure that you have clean fingernails, your hair looks good and no food stuck in your teeth please!
- What’s the best way to break the ice when meeting someone for the first time?
It depends if the first break of ice is on the phone or in person. On the phone is a good start to see if there is some kind of compatibility or not. In person… you can start with a warm smile and handshake.