#365 Love is not about being single, it is about being social
With the beginning of the New Year, I find that I have gone into some deep reflection and quest to find more about why I make the choices I do in life.
In the last months since the start of my 365 days journey, I have written a lot about my experiences and lessons learned through what some consider "rose colored glasses" maintaining a very positive attitude.
I don’t intend to ever be content to live life any other way- but I must admit for the first time, I am realizing and coming terms with the fact that my past is influencing who I choose to date and how I deal with those relationships.
Everyone has to experience an ouch and that I did! The result- it has exposed me to feelings I haven’t had to face in 30 years and the process is enlightening and cleansing.
I am going deep within- finding myself. I know that for my soul mate to appear I need to be free and ready to receive the gift he will be.
A very kind and wise man has introduced me to Ho'oponopono- the ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness for oneself. Described in the dictionary as "mental cleansing"- it is in this belief that to prevent illness one must atone. It likens the concept of cancer survivors I know believing they were fine until tragedy or stress came into their lives.
I am learning the mantra and would like to share it with you.
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you.
Interesting to me is that the start of the Ho'oponopono is Hope.
Have you ever thought about looking deeper into your history before looking for the future?

With a New Year comes more of life's lessons and reflections.
In the last few weeks, I have learned many things about myself- the way I conduct my life and how I feel about love and why. 
I look forward to sharing some of my revelations and how they will impact my journey to find love. 
Ho'oponopono- break it down and the first part of the pronunciation is hope.
On this day of faith- hold dear all those you love.
Take time to smell all the roses that bloomed in your garden this past year and remember that every flower needs to be tended to.
I wish everyone 365 DAYS of LOVE, Health and Happiness!
This was a summer of many journeys, both physically and spiritually. I crossed the ocean and lost sight of the shore.
While some people think it might be running away from things- I was actually running towards me, a deeper me.


I invite all of you to join me in sharing our stories with each other. Please fill out this survey and maybe you will be next week’s Talk To Me Tuesdays featured love story! Share your thoughts at Love Quest Survey.  
Meet Jane from Montreal! She is a 40-49 year old woman and these are her love quest answers.  
1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
2. Would you/have you ever used an online dating site?
3. Would you/have you ever used a matchmaking service?
4. Do you kiss and tell?
5. Do you believe in soulmates, i.e. that there is only one person out there for you?
1. What’s the worst opening line that’s ever been thrown your way?
Time for a quickie?
2. If you had to plan your perfect date, what would you do?
Dinner and a movie
3. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
Was almost sick
4. Under what circumstances would you say it is permissible to date a friend’s ex-spouse (if any)?
All circumstances its OK. One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure
5. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else?
Dressed up in his favorite sexy lingerie ready for when he came back from a long business trip.
Do you believe that one woman's trash is another woman's treasure?
Tell me your thoughts on this particular subject and don't forget to fill out the Love Quest Survey!
Matthew Hussey never seems to fail with his advice about dating. For this week's featured video, I thought I would share with you all his views on the two most important stages in a relationship- the first argument and meeting the family. 
All relationships have crucial moments that can mean make or break. 
Here we'll examine two important stages of a relationship and how to approach them in order to keep you relationship on track.
No. 1. - The First Argument
Before the first argument the beginning of a relationship can feel so perfect that when the argument does come along it can seem earth shattering.
Don't Panic! - Keep Calm and Carry on
Women can tend to over-analyze the first argument and assume this is a sign that the relationship is not meant to be.
All couples argue, it is a healthy way of communicating and venting frustrations and no passionate relationship will get by without one!
Remain calm and logical and don't overreact from the shock that comes with your bubble of perfection being burst with the inevitable first argument. Tears and tantrums will not do you any favours.
After the storm...
While its important not to panic, it's also important not to go into denial. Leave time for you both to have calmed down then talk about why you think you argued and how you both felt.
After all, it's important you both understand why you argued and what needs to change or else you'll repeat the same pattern over and over again!
No. 2 - Meeting the family
Show yourself as a person, not just a girlfriend- Don't overdo the P.D.A (i.e. Kissing/cuddling/clinging to him constantly)
An important part of strengthening a relationship and building its potential for the future is to get the approval of those closest to him, so meeting the family can be a pivotal point in the relationship.
Girls can often be so keen to want his family to take her seriously as his girlfriend and show how loved up you both are that they overdo the public displays of affection. 
This is a major mistake for two reasons:
(a) No-one wants to watch their son/brother/grandson being intimate; it will make them uncomfortable and they wont feel respected.
(b) Allowing them to see you only being affectionate will mean they find it hard to see you as anything but 'The Girlfriend'. 
If you play the "Adoring Girlfriend" role all the time, you won't be taken seriously as an individual, which is what you want in order for them to see you as a serious partner for their loved one.
Up until they have met you, you will only have been discussed as "his girlfriend". Now is your opportunity to show who you actually are.
Instead of simpering around your boyfriend, hanging on to his arm and agreeing with everything he says to show your loyalty, don't be afraid to talk about your interests and ambitions. 
Let his family really get to know you so they see you as more than just the person that loves their son but as the person they might grow to love as well!
I promise that once you take this advice on board and begin to actually use it, you'll see almost instant change and realise what you did wrong in the past. There will always be ups and downs in any type of relationship, that's just human nature.
What do you think the two most important stages in a relationship are?

It's often scary to let someone into our hearts- but if we do not open the door to let someone in, what use is holding onto the key?

Trust your instincts.
Based on the comments I received about Rachelle’s blog post last week- I decided to do a follow up on Rachelle for this weeks’ Talk To Me Tuesday.
Here's her very first experience with online dating.
I could write a book entitled "my online dating nightmares...every single women's guide to survival”
Ok my very first online date after 22 years with the same person...was I nervous...OMG yes!
I remember sitting in my car taking more than a few deep breaths and pulling myself together emotionally as having no idea what to expect.
We met after work for a walk at Dows Lake (Ottawa). Within, and I am not kidding, 2 minutes into our walk- he stopped and turned to me and said “It appears to me you have quite the nice "rack"”. I had no idea what a "rack" was until I realized he was not looking at my face. If you happened to be at Dows Lake that day I was indeed the blonde hustling her butt back to her car faster than lightning.
So begins my online dating…
Share your stories for a chance to be featured in next week's Talk to me Tuesdays!
I have found myself being asked by suitors, how long it takes before I roll the dice and consider making seeing someone a priority in my life.
I am a betting woman, but I prefer to wait for when the odds are in my favor- before I place my bet.
Dating to me is like a high stakes poker game- with the pot being my life!
I imagine sitting down at the table of love- the croupier is cupid.
Date one= The cards are dealt and I evaluate whether to ante up or fold-based on the likelihood of making a pair. NO room for bluffing in this case!
Date two= I toss in a couple cards and draw 2 more hoping to improve the hand.
Date three= I am feeling confident as I am holding a full house- the cards have aligned.
Date four= the betting has started but there is still a lot to consider before I go all in.
We all take risks when we gamble on love, however I do have an unfair advantage- my grandfather taught me how count the cards!
How much are you willing to wager to try and hit the jackpot?
I am sitting at the airport waiting for my flight to Barcelona and another 365 adventure to begin.
Monday I will be setting sail- visiting several of my favorite ports in France and Italy.
Can’t wait to meet up with friends and practice my Italiano- Thank you Rosetta Stone!
Will keep you posted on any new developments but must admit...
It will be hard- even for an Italian- to outdo last week’s first date and A Gentleman showing up carrying two dozen white roses.
I also found this quote and couldn't resist posting it.