29 Aug 2013
Matthew Hussey never seems to fail with his advice about dating. For this week's featured video, I thought I would share with you all his views on the two most important stages in a relationship- the first argument and meeting the family.
All relationships have crucial moments that can mean make or break.
Here we'll examine two important stages of a relationship and how to approach them in order to keep you relationship on track.
No. 1. - The First Argument
Before the first argument the beginning of a relationship can feel so perfect that when the argument does come along it can seem earth shattering.
Don't Panic! - Keep Calm and Carry on
Women can tend to over-analyze the first argument and assume this is a sign that the relationship is not meant to be.
All couples argue, it is a healthy way of communicating and venting frustrations and no passionate relationship will get by without one!
Remain calm and logical and don't overreact from the shock that comes with your bubble of perfection being burst with the inevitable first argument. Tears and tantrums will not do you any favours.
After the storm...
While its important not to panic, it's also important not to go into denial. Leave time for you both to have calmed down then talk about why you think you argued and how you both felt.
After all, it's important you both understand why you argued and what needs to change or else you'll repeat the same pattern over and over again!
No. 2 - Meeting the family
Show yourself as a person, not just a girlfriend- Don't overdo the P.D.A (i.e. Kissing/cuddling/clinging to him constantly)
An important part of strengthening a relationship and building its potential for the future is to get the approval of those closest to him, so meeting the family can be a pivotal point in the relationship.
Girls can often be so keen to want his family to take her seriously as his girlfriend and show how loved up you both are that they overdo the public displays of affection.
This is a major mistake for two reasons:
(a) No-one wants to watch their son/brother/grandson being intimate; it will make them uncomfortable and they wont feel respected.
(b) Allowing them to see you only being affectionate will mean they find it hard to see you as anything but 'The Girlfriend'.
If you play the "Adoring Girlfriend" role all the time, you won't be taken seriously as an individual, which is what you want in order for them to see you as a serious partner for their loved one.
Up until they have met you, you will only have been discussed as "his girlfriend". Now is your opportunity to show who you actually are.
Instead of simpering around your boyfriend, hanging on to his arm and agreeing with everything he says to show your loyalty, don't be afraid to talk about your interests and ambitions.
Let his family really get to know you so they see you as more than just the person that loves their son but as the person they might grow to love as well!
I promise that once you take this advice on board and begin to actually use it, you'll see almost instant change and realise what you did wrong in the past. There will always be ups and downs in any type of relationship, that's just human nature.
What do you think the two most important stages in a relationship are?
XO
Cheryl
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