I used to love the fairy tale about the princess kissing the frog, who turns into her handsome knight in shining armor.
Age and experience teaches us that we can’t change people- and I for one don’t want to try.
Remember, just because someone is not right for us doesn't mean they are not a good person. No matter how hard we pucker up, sometimes they will still remain a toad. Let them jump to the next lily pad and be appreciated for who they are while you go find your prince.
Following up on Amy Spencer’s article the other day, is the other side of the story…
While we all know which signs to look for in a man, in order to decide if he’s the perfect match- there are also signs we need to look for, in order to decide if he’s just not the one.
It describes warning signals to be aware of and why the person you are dating may just give you warts.
I am sure we have all had to use Compound W at least once…
Now, the bad news: You could be headed toward a dead end if…
1. You roll your eyes at each other during an argument
You say potato, your date says… well, even if he or she says it the same way, it’s a given you’re not going to see eye-to-eye on everything. And that’s okay — your differences are what make things interesting! But while disagreeing is fine, it’s bad news if one of you rolls your eyes at the other during the argument. “The reason you roll your eyes at someone is because the other person is saying something you think makes absolutely no sense to you and you don’t respect what they’re saying,” says Hamburg. And since R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the cornerstone to any good relationship, take any eye-rolling you or your mate does as a bad omen.
2. You can’t handle the uncomfortable silences
Every date has its quiet lulls here and there when the dialogue runs dry, and if these moments don’t faze you, congratulations for reaching that comfort level. But if you find yourself squirming in your seat, trying to come up with things to say, checking your cell phone hoping to find a voicemail, or going back to the same old topics (“Have you talked to your sister lately?”) that could spell trouble, since it shows you’re not really relaxed when you’re around them. Take it from Jason Parker of Atlanta: “The whole time my date and I were eating dinner, we’d have moments of silence during which she kept checking her cell phone,” he says. “Finally I asked her if she was waiting for a call, and she said, ‘No, I’m just checking the time.’ As if that was any better!” Whether this gal was indeed nervous or just plain rude, either way, Jason was relieved when their brief relationship was happily over.
3. Your dates are always chock-full of distractions
It’s healthy for you and your love to fill your time together with fun activities and mutual friends — that is, as long as that’s not all you do together. “It’s not a good sign if the only things you’re saying to each other are, ‘Let’s hang with friends, or let’s do something like go to the ballgame or a movie,’” says Wolf. The reason: These things are buffers that help you avoid really getting to know each other, which may indicate that your one-on-one time isn’t so thrilling. If an offer of “Tonight, let’s just hang out together alone” doesn’t sound exciting, ask yourself: Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person?
4. You find yourself criticizing little things about each other
Everyone tends to be positive to each other on the first few dates, “but if the other person starts making critical comments, like not liking what you’re wearing, that’s not good,” says Dr. Hamburg. Criticism, whether you realize it or not, is a way of pushing someone away — so if either of you are saying things that seem innocuous like, “That shirt looks weird” or “How can you stand living on this street?” you’re tapping into a bigger problem. “As time passes, you should find yourself wanting to treat your partner as well as you did at the beginning of your relationship,” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., a relationship expert in New York, NY and author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up: Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples. If not, consider this breakdown in polite behavior very bad news. 5. You only want to deal with each other when the chips are up It’s a red flag if the person you’re with gives you the cold shoulder when you’re not feeling hunky dory about something in your life. Happily ever after means loving — or at least liking — someone when life isn’t so sweet. “I was seeing a guy who was usually wonderful, but when I would have a bad day and wanted to just talk to him or be near him, I’d call, and he wouldn’t call back for days,” says Rachel Harrison of Brooklyn, NY. “He just didn’t seem to want to know the whole me, in good times and bad.” And being able to weather the tough times — together — is definitely a quality that every good relationship needs.
Tell me your fairytale gone wrong stories!
XO
Cheryl
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