www.365daystofindlove.com

#365 Love is not about being single, it is about being social

In more ways than one…

photograph courtesy of Genevieve PM Roy

After weeks of planning the design and characteristics of the blog site and psyching myself up for the big day the time finally arrived to let 365 Days to find Love.com go live.

Just how did this event producer launch her latest new project? With a grand soirée, of course!
Let me set the stage for you...

A trendy New York style venue, Gallery 203, nestled away in the old port of Montreal was the perfect location to welcome my150 guests for a 5-à huitres!

Fifty shades of red was the inspiration for the evening, in keeping with St. Valentine’s Day, and the romantic idea of finding true love!

I had no real expectations of what the night would bring.  I do know, based on the fact that amazing people and companies were all out in full force to support me, that I felt loved and fearless.

The music was perfection with DJ Ruben setting the tone right from the beginning of the night. Rita the songstress and her melodic voice transcended us all to the streets of Paris, and romance was definitely in the air!

Buonanotte had created the perfect menu, which of course included oysters and all the aphrodisiac food one would want on such a night. Brahm Mauer bar service created the love potion cocktails to compliment the gastronomic delicacies.

The room came alive as it filled up with fabulous  people all there with one thing in common... a desire to celebrate LOVE, and that we all did!  The laughter was contagious and I noticed that people who had never met were quickly becoming familiar with each other. The Connector in me was smiling away as I watched the crowd become one cohesive group, laughing, chatting, and dancing – having a great time!

Fellow blogger Lisa Kisber of LKISStyle

The clock struck 7pm.  The time had come for the site to go officially “LIVE!”

I took a deep breath, clutched onto the hand of Susan Hutt, my friend and partner in Female Fundamentals, took off my shoes and stood up on a gorgeous leather chair, and made the introductions to my new website - 365daystofindlove.com

My throne for the night….Cinderella lost her shoes!   (photograph courtesy of Heidi Hollinger)

It felt great that it was not scary as I had anticipated.   All the faces in the crowd before me were my friends, all of them wanting me to succeed on this journey.

It was incredible night – but now for the icing on the cake! (I’m not referring to the special cake designed for the evening!)  There was a special treat this evening just for me!

The cherry on the top of that perfect evening came in the form of a thank you! . Three people who were enjoying the evening expressed a desire to try and start looking for ways to meet people again and re-enter the dating world.  They were planning on following my lead. They realize, like I have, that to meet someone special, they 'll need to step out into the universe.

That little voice inside me is yelling....”Mission accomplished, now let's go mend another lonely heart.”

I won't meet anyone sitting at home and neither will anyone else. I talked and danced with old and new friends last night and will do so again and hopefully someday soon with Mr. Right. For now my BFFs will do!

What have you done today to try and change your routine? Tell us about it.

Cheryl

Xo

What better day to start a journey of love than on St Valentine’s Day?

365 days to find love? The fact is, we should ALL feel loved 365 days a year. First and foremost, it starts with self-love.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifetime of romance.”  - Anonymous

I consider this particular day as the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I do not think of it as closing the book on my past, but rather believe that I am ready to turn the page and keep on writing my story.

Now that I’ve been single for two years, I find I’m ready to entertain the idea of introducing another person into my world. But how do I go about doing it?

I surf the Internet for ways or activities to meet new people, but it just seems so impersonal. I for one like prefer the “human” touch when it comes to things relating to “human” relationships  and connections. I’m the kind of woman who would rather run out to meet a friend for coffee at 9pm instead of talking on a phone in front of a TV screen, so why on earth would I want advice on my social life through a backlit piece of metal and glass? I DON’T!

The girl in me who believes in fairy tales sometimes hopes my fairy godmother will swoop down to guide me, encourage me, dress me (well, maybe not dress me... that’s one thing I’ve been told I know how to do) and send me off to the ball. She would advise me on the ways of the world and set certain guidelines like when to let go and run back home by midnight!  Except I would never leave a shoe behind… I love my accessories!

But this is my real life,  and the only thing I’ve ever seen a pumpkin change into is a delicious pie.

So instead, here’s my plan: I'm going to become a love patrol. Before I decide how to go about meeting my "Mr. Right," I'm going to do some research into what options are out there for women and men like me to expand our social circles, and make it easier to find a person to share our lives with.

This website will chronicle my journey as I explore various Internet dating sites, share advice from international matchmakers, seek alternate singles activities that bring people together, and may even include inspiring stories of serendipitous encounters at places like the grocery store.

But beyond my personal journey, I plan to gather information and tips from professionals, as well as people in the same stage of life as me, and post their thoughts and advice on the website.

I can’t wait to share the things I’m going to learn with you: information on dating etiquette, what to wear on a first date, tips on self-confidence, things to avoid, best date, worst date anecdotes... Day to day, week to week, I’ll share stories from various cities – stories of other love seekers, the cynics, the starry-eyed, and the star crossed.  

I plan to make 365 Days to Find Love a platform that will give you a voice and provide you with a community of shared experiences

365 Days to Find Love is a journey that I won’t be doing alone. It’s a journey toward love that I hope will help connect and inspire you, and best of all, form a community of single women and men who understand and support each other. I hope it will encourage you to get out there and go looking for romance and share your stories here on the website.

Join me on this incredible journey! Let’s talk!

Cheryl

X0

Never did I think a man could “push my buttons” but Tony found a way! This brings new meaning to relinquishing the “remote” control!

Cheryl

xo

I had the opportunity to sit down and talk with TV matchmaker, author, and public speaker, Danièle Parent, who is an expert on the etiquette of seduction. Here’s what she had to say about dating.

DANIELE'S DATING PHILOSOPHIES

1.  The best scenario for a first date is a short moment.  I have put up a rule 45/24… your first date should last 45 minutes.  Whether you like him or not it is enough time.  Too many people lose too much time and money.  I suggest that you set this rule before you meet.

2.  Trust your feelings, your intuition when you meet someone for the first time, listen to what your heart has to say.  Try not to be impressed by details, look for your needs instead of your desires.  I am convinced that people who chose a partner who fulfills her needs are much happier.

3.  The etiquette following a first date is 24 hours… before you leave one another it is understood that you will hear from him or her within 24 hours whether it is positive or not. 

4.  The dress code on a first date depends on what you want him to think of you.  I suggest you keep a bit of mystery and have him wonder what you are wearing underneath.  It is not a good idea to show it all on a first date.

5.  I suggest you speak on the phone before a first date, not too long and listen properly.  If he is passionate about something make sure you make a few researches before you meet him and elaborate on the subject.  Remember that humor is a winner for men and women, if you make him laugh he won’t forget you.

I was brought up to think that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Now I know that laughter might be the modern way to tempt his palate.

Why don’t you write to 365 Days to Find Love and tell us your opinion on Danièle’s advice?

Want to get in touch with Danièle? You can find her online at: m.y.daniele.parent@gmail.com

www.lelegance.com

www.etiquette-et-seduction.com

www.rencontresdexception.com 

www.lametropole.com  

Here’s one of my top picks from this week’s submissions. Will yours appear next week? Get inspired, get involved. Share your thoughts here: Love Quest Survey.

Anne-Sophie from Montreal, age 50-59:

Q:  Do you believe in love at first sight?

A:  Yes I believe in love at first sight, it has happened to me before and it lasted 10 beautiful years.

Q:  Would you/have you ever used an online dating site?  

A:  Yes I have used many online dating sites, and I have met good people, some I have been with for a few months, some a few days, and some a few hours.

Q:  Would you/have you  ever used a matchmaking service?
A:  I have never used a matchmaking service, but I would be open to do so

Q:  Do you kiss and tell?

A: NO

Q:  Do you believe in soulmates, i.e. that there is only one person out there for you?  
A:  I believe there are many soulmates out there for me… nothing is forever anymore!

Q:  What’s the worst opening line that’s ever been thrown your way?
A:  What do you eat to be so pretty (must say it sounds better in French) but still it’s a no no.

Q:  If you had to plan your perfect date, what would you do?
A:  First I would let him plan the date and it will tell me a lot about the person and it will help me decide whether I want to see him again.  It does not have to be perfect, but it has to be comfortable for both of us.

Q:  What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you on a date?
A:  The most embarrassing thing that happened to me on a first date is that I was sitting in a restaurant with a gentleman who never looked at me in the eyes throughout the whole meal and walking back home on Sherbrooke street,  he put his right hand on my ass… should we forgive him because he was Italian… I didn’t.

Q:  Under what circumstances would you say it is permissible to date a friend’s ex-spouse (if any)?
A:  To date a friends’ ex husband is very delicate, but, each situation is different, there are no rules here.  The best way to handle it I believe is to be honest and open about it and to those who are concerned.

Q:  What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone else?
A:  The most romantic thing I have ever done for a man is write him a love note on the table in the morning with my cereal (alphabits) it may look ridiculous but it takes a lot of time.

What does it take to launch a blog? A kick-ass party, of course! Here’s a little peek at what goes in to making it all work. Gallery 203, voila! Cheers!

Cheryl

Xo

Day 1 of the new and improved Cheryl Besner… I’m a blogger extraordinaire who is notoriously not too computer savvy – but I’m learning!

Oh, where do I begin….

The first stop on my new journey –  the Apple store on Ste Catherine street in Montreal.

To be or not to be….desk top versus laptop.

16, 32, or 64 GB… but first – what exactly is a Gigabite?

To cloud or not to cloud and then – how to cloud? There ain’t no heaven in this computer hell I’m surrounded with at the moment, I can tell you that!

All I want is a simple typewriter – like in the old days – and a photocopier with a glue stick where I can position a photo into the script where I want it to be… but gone are the days!

Then I see the “Genius Bar” and I think… nirvana  – as my prayers are to be answered!  Only to find that the only thing being served up there is more tech info, which was the thing causing my desire for an alcoholic beverage in the first place.

I have been in the store half an hour and by this time I have 3 wonderful people trying to make my fear of the cyber world become more of a happy place. After entertaining them with the basic needs I have for a computer, we narrow down my search due to one basic necessity… whatever looks the prettiest!

No seriously… I need to have a basic computer so I can be adept at blogging and communicating via email with a large enough screen to see my work and not need my glasses  – ‘cos they are never where I need them!

There is an expert for everything associated with your Apple computer experience in the store.  You have the greeters checking you in upon arrival on their handy ipads, even including your picture for identification, because when the associate approaches you,  they say your name as if you are old friends. Then there is the Genius Bar for repairs, the sales associate for purchases, a specialist for the set up, tech support for one-on-one lessons, everyone of them knows what they’re talking about.

“All I want for Christmas” as the song goes… is one Partridge! I plead for one person to start with me and walk me through what would work best to accommodate all my needs and “temporary” inabilities and make my dreams come true.

So… enter Lise, JSP, Elias and the littlest Apple angel Gabrielle. Together, they became my red apple support group leading me towards my computer heaven.

After much deliberation, with a few calls to my son for backup advice, a choice is made.

I bought my new desktop computer, clouded it, notice the perfect techno lingo, with my new mini iPad, which is perfect as I can now dictate my blog while driving – taking multitasking to whole new level of efficiency – and bonus  – it fits in a small purse. At the service desk all my applications were downloaded, passwords that I hope I don’t forget assigned, and my screen formatted.

A little crash course in the basics, like how to turn it on… and voila! All that remains is to go home and plug her in.

”And then there was laughter all through the house”… the entire crowd on the second floor of the flagship Apple store started clapping and cheering for these wonderful 3.

Now I’m ready to take on the next 365 days of my quest for love. Today I came to appreciate yet another side of me… the one that doesn’t take myself too seriously and can admit to my insecurities while learning and adapting to new endeavors and challenges.

I am happy that I brought a group of individuals together and for a short while we were a family, laughing and enjoying what could have been a frustrating experience for both parties. My openness of how little I knew caused them to all band together to support and educate me with patience and kindness. For this I say thanks to all…

“And to all a good night”….

Cheryl

XO

It was said to me that after becoming single at MY “young” age – I should make finding my new love my business – so I’ve decided to take it literally and make it just that!

I’m considering devoting 365 days to embarking on a quest to find my future love.  

The first thought one might have when thinking of finding love is a partner to share a life with – but is it only that? They say that opposites attract, and in my mind that means the person who I love possesses character traits that I may not have or have not developed but yet desire.

Could this quest for love also be a quest for the definition of who we are, and an acceptance of ourselves? As a recently single woman, I am learning that independence and self-discovery is found one day at a time.

As to finding love, what works better?   Chance vs Strategy?  

Once upon a time we married the boy next door, or bumped into our future love on the street. Nowadays, we can fall in love with the boy from the next continent. There are Internet dating sites like Match.com, matchmaking companies of many different calibres, like Grey and Ferrar, singles mingles and speed dating parties… which one works?  Does my Mr. Right even use these?

How do I choose which path to follow – or do I sit back and wait for fate to take over?

As a computer challenged woman, (yes, I admit it!) I’m planning to write it as a blog: think Bridget Jones's Diary meets Eat Pray Love!!  

This quest will force me to conquer some of my personal fears, but I’m ready.
I laugh in the face of FEAR – gulp!  LOL

Let’s go – let’s see where I find love.

I’ll keep you posted!

Cheryl

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